गूड जॉब आया!

सध्या घरात अभ्यासाचं वातावरण आहे. आणि अभ्यास नीट केला की miss 'सायली' (smiley) देतात.

आणि अभ्यासदेखील किती अवघड: sleeping lines, up-down up-down. Miss चा लक्ष असतं हां! 'Crooked line' आलेली अजिबात चालत नाही!

आणि मग "good job" केला की आयाला मिळतो 'smiley'!

महिका स्वतःच Miss आहे आणि आमची 'शाळा' घेते. पण ह्या छोटुकलीच्या शाळेत आमच्या लहानपणच्या खऱ्या शाळेपेक्षा मज्जा येते. जे तेव्हा शिकलो नाही, अथवा शिकलेले आठवत नाही ते ह्या शाळेत करता येते!

थँक यू Miss !

आया, तू किती छान जेवण करतेस...

हे उद्गार होते महिकाचे परवा मी पुरणपोळी बनवताना. आणि पुढे हेदेखील म्हणाली, "मलापण तुझ्यासारखं जेवण करायचंय!"

खरं सांगू का? मी किंचित गहिवरले... पण ह्याकरता नव्हे की खरंच माझे जेवण उत्कृष्ट झाले आणि तिला ते कळले!

मी ऑफिस सांभाळून जमेल तसे सगळे सण-वार करते. घरात दररोज पूजा नाही होत. पण सणासुदीला आवर्जून होते, सगळे सण अगदी कणा-रांगोळी काढणे इथपासून, त्या त्या दिवशी पक्वान्न बनवून नैवेद्य दाखवून सर्व जमवते. बऱ्याच वेळेस दमछाक होते. कंटाळा येतो, दमून जाते. वैताग येतो सगळे रीतिरिवाज करता करता.

पण त्या दिवशी महिका जे म्हणाली त्यामुळे एक लक्षात आलं की हे सर्व कुठेतरी "note down" होतंय नकळत. मुद्दाम बोलून न दाखवता आपले संस्कार रुजत आहेत. आणि आपल्या मुलीला आपल्यासारख्या गोष्टी कराव्याशा वाटतात, ह्यातच सगळे मिळाले.

कित्येक वेळेस मला सांगतात लोकं, "अगं काही इतका घाट घालत बसायचं नाही. सरळ बाहेरून ऑर्डर करायचं. हल्ली सगळं मिळतं." खरं आहे, मिळतं. पण तेव्हा मुलांकडून हे शब्द ऐकायला नाही मिळणार.

ज्यांना घरी करायला जमत नाही अथवा आवडत नाही त्यांच्याबद्दल माझे काही वाईट मत नाही, किंवा राग देखील नाही. मी आपलं स्वतःपुरतं सांगते. जितके जमेल तितके करेन. जेव्हा अवघड जाईल, तेव्हा मीदेखील बाहेरून आणेन. पण आत्ता जमतंय तर थोडे कष्ट पडतील, पण सगळे घरच्या घरी करण्याचा प्रयत्न जरूर करेन.

वास्तविक मी काही सुग्रण नाही. थोडेफार जमते. बऱ्याच वेळेस चुकते. पण घरातली कामं स्वतः करून, स्वैपाक स्वतः जमवणे, आणि स्वतः खाऊन दुसऱ्याला पण जेवू घालणे इतके जरी महिका शिकली, तर मी तिला काहीतरी चांगले "pass  on" केले, ह्याचा आनंद होईल मला!

... मी आईची व्हावे आई

पर्वा कार चालवत घरी जाताना महिका म्हणाली, "आया, मी तुझी आया. मी कार चालवते."

"अच्छा, म्हणजे तू पुढे बसली आहेस आणि मी मांगे का?"

"हो, मी पुढे बसले आहे."

ह्या संवादामुळे मला "आई व्हावी मुलगी माझी, मी आईची व्हावे आई... " हेच गाणे आठवले. आणि विचारांची गाडी धावतच राहिली. मी कधी माझ्या आईची आई झाले का? झाले असेन... कधी तिला समजावताना, कधी तिला नवीन गोष्टी शिकवताना, कधी आजारी असताना काळजी घेताना.

उद्या महिका मोठी होईल. ती देखील असंच काही कमी जास्त प्रमाणात करेल. तेव्हा क्वचित तिला हे गाणं आठवेल!

Now I Know...

Now I know what Calvin's Dad in Calvin and Hobbes feels when he's bombarded with Calvin's 'innocent' questions.

And I totally can empathise with his answers. Here's an example:

I had a similar experience today.

Time: Morning 9.40 AM
Where: Waiting at a signal in bumper to bumper traffic on way to school

I am waiting for the light to turn green when the already noisy street reverberates with an ambulance's siren.

Mahika (from the car seat at the back): Whose horn is this?
I: That's not a horn. That's an ambulance, that's going to a hospital.
Mahika: Where's the hospital?
I: Far away in Kharadi.
Mahika: Ohh is it? What's the name of the hospital?
I (totally exasperated and somewhat amused): City International Hospital
Mahika: I see.

Now, does she need to know the hospital name? And frankly, I don't think there's any hospital with that name. I just happened to see the name of a school on a school bus and just modified the name for the hospital.

Her next question was going to be what does the ambulance do when it reaches the hospital...I just knew that. But mercifully, the light turned green, we took a right turn, and that turned her attention too. Phew!!!!

Tips For New Mothers

My daughter is now four months old. The past four months have been a roller-coaster ride. New things, new and changing schedule, adjustments, frustration, joys, discoveries, and lots of happiness.

As I look back at these four months, I can think of a few things, which if I was told about them earlier, would have made my life easier. I am sharing those tips here.

• When you prepare your bags for the D-Day, ensure that you pack the following items for yourself:

• Breast pads: Disposable and reusable

• Lots of sanitary napkins

• Feeding bras

• Feeding tops

• Pillows to support during breast feeding

• Ensure that the following items are available for your baby:

• Mosquito net

• Soft cotton cloths big enough to wrap the baby: Use your old cotton odhanies for this.

• Pair of surgical scissors

• Use a pair of surgical scissors that is available in a shop selling surgical equipment to cut your baby's nails. The nail cutter that is available in the market for babies is really not of much use, at least not for new born babies.
• If you are having a baby in the summer months, refrain from the traditional massage that elders insist that a new mother must have. It usually leads to rashes for the mother. Do not give the usual dhuri that's given to babies in those months.
• Use some soothing music to help the baby sleep. It really works.
• If your baby does not sleep on its own and needs to be rocked, switch over to a crib or a rocker/bouncer as soon as possible. If you don't do that, your baby will get used to your rocking him/her always and it will be troublesome later.
• If you are using diapers, once a day, put some antiseptic cream to the diaper area. That will help keep the skin clean and rash-free. Also, change the diapers every three to four hours to avoid rashes.
• Keep small cloths in ample amount to wipe your baby's face after feeding. At around three months, you will also need those cloths to wipe your baby's drool.

I'll keep updating this page as I think of more tips.

Side Effects Of Being A Mother

As you get used to being a mother, you'll have to bear with some of the following side effects.

• You become a very fast eater and can contest and win the All India Eating competition. You'll learn to eat your breakfast/lunch/dinner/snacks at top speed because you have to finish it off in between the time when your little one is sleeping or is not crying.
• Eight hours of sleep at a stretch becomes a thing of the past. Now you are up and awake the moment you feel your little one stirring.
• Your days don't start and end. They are just unending.
• You can no longer stand steady. You get so used to swinging your baby to sleep, that every time you stand up for something, you automatically start swinging.
• Despite having several babies around you, you will always recognize your baby's sound (thank god for that!)
• Even when your baby is fast asleep, your ears ring with your baby's cries. You will be peeping into the bedroom every 4 minutes to check whether the little one has woken up.
• After being busy day and night, if you get some time off because your baby is asleep, you'll probably keep wondering what to do!
• You won't fit in any of your earlier dresses. You can only wonder how you fitted before and whether you will ever get back to that size (which probably is not a possibility at all.)
• When you start singing to your little one, you'll forget the lyrics of the songs that you know by heart.
• Sometimes, you are at your wits end thinking of new ways to entertain your little one.
• At times, you get so frustrated with every thing around you that you may take it all out on your innocent little one and after it's done, you'll feel extremely guilty about it.
• Your schedules revolve around the little one's and you'll get totally frustrated and angry when people try to disrupt that.

Safe Confinement

My safe confinement started on 11-April-2014. I was given the first tablet to induce pain in the afternoon when I got admitted. The tablet would start the delivery pains in 24-48 hours.

Interestingly, nothing happened. I was as happy as a lark without the delivery pains. We waited for two whole days and still I had no pains at all.

On the fourth day, early in the morning at 6 AM, I was given another pain inducing tablet. Still nothing. I was then sent for an ultrasound test, which revealed that the baby's position was horizontal, and the cervix had not dilated at all.

I was still given another tablet for pains. By that time, I had become a fun object for the doctors there. even with three tablets, I had no pains at all. Finally our doctor told us that it they had given the whole dose of medicine for inducing pain for the day and they could give no more. The doctor also mentioned that if pains started in the evening or night, they may be too strong because of the three tablets. At that time, it could take time for the doctor to come and complications could arise.

We decided to go for c-section immediately and not wait any longer. At around 3 PM we took the decision. Withing half an hour I was rolled into the operation theatre (OT). By 4.30, I was back in the recovery room, already a mother, my baby safely ensconced with all the doting grandparents and mavshi. It was that quick.

In the safe confinement, there are a few things that may happen. You may start getting some cold because of the weather or airconditioning. Talk to your doctor if the doctor doesn't realize that. Get some medicines for the cold so that it does not worsen.

The other important thing that happens is...the pain inducing tablets reduce your milk flow. You are never told about it. No doctors tell about that. However, that is most likely to happen and it is best that you talk to the paediatrician to help feed your baby better, probably with some top feed.

C-section could also mean not being able to move from the bed for two days. That will limit your movements and you may also not be able to hold your baby for long. The saline drip becomes a problem as you handle the baby. You must check on the needle that's pierced for the drip. There's always a possibility of the drip going 'out.' Be careful while handling the baby.

And in all this, don't forget to marvel at the bundle of joy that was growing inside you and now has entered the world. it's going to make your world all the more beautiful. Cherish that!

Being A Mother

Today I have finally got time after around one and half months of being a mother. I was blessed with a beautiful daughter on 14-April-2014. We haven't named her yet, although her name is finalized.

As with some girls, I did not get that shock when I finally saw my bundle of joy in front of my eyes. When I heard her cry for the first time in the operation theatre, it was truly exciting. I was waiting to see her. My doctor brought her before me and I was overjoyed. I cannot express what I felt then, but it was a beautiful moment of realisation that I was a mother now. Other feelings followed after the initial ecstasy.

Truly, it's a joy being a mother, I guess. Well, am I writing contradictory statements? Not really. The reason is that every girl's emotions run wild when she finally becomes a mother. If it's been a natural delivery, the after delivery pains are less. However, if it is a c-section, then you need to cope up with quite a bit of pain and are not sure about a lot of things.

First, you cannot get up from the bed for two days and cannot handle the baby properly. Your milk flow might be affected due to various reasons. Breast feeding becomes a challenge. Your baby is so small and beautiful and fragile, you do not know what to do with it. You cannot understand why the baby is crying, what to do.

One of the first things that you realise about your baby is that it is so very helpless. The baby is totally dependent on you for everything. Literally everything. And that itself makes you feel so responsible. The mother is everything for them. No wonder kids think the world of their mothers.

As every day progresses, you get used to your baby, start understanding your baby's moods, her wants, likes, dislikes. You ensure that your baby is comfortable, protected, cosy, and happy.

The first few weeks are the most difficult. You are fumbling with your new-found status of motherhood. The baby is also adjusting to the surroundings and new routine outside the womb. The whole household almost revolves round the baby.

My baby is of one and half months and it's only now that I have become a bit relaxed and started enjoying motherhood. The initial days are difficult and sometimes damn frustrating. Through this blog, I'll try and put down my experiences and learnings. That will probably help other first time mothers too.

And now I must stop. My bundle of joy is waiting for me. :)