So when it was confirmed that I was expecting, I was zapped. Frankly! I had never believed it would be that smooth. So I was finally going to be a mom. It was a totally new thing for me (just like all first-time moms.)
Physically, there wasn't a lot of change in me. So it was really hard to believe it. Emotionally, it was a roller-coaster ride. First disbelief, then a gradual dawning of the fact, then the sinking in, then joy, followed by slight panic of what it really meant, how it was going to change my life, and then a fear of whether I would be able to be a mom at all, forget about being a good mom, didn't know whether I would be able to take it all in.
Gradually as days passed, the fact that I really was going to be a mom in another 8-9 months was something that started taking root. I reconciled myself to my own feelings and with some introspection, started getting ready for the new phase.
Slowly and surely, physically too, things started changing. My hunger increased, making me wonder all the time. I started feeling hungry even in the middle of the night, early in the morning, every two hours, and at all odd timings. Till now I used to eat to live. But now, I had to live to eat. It was a drastic change and I found myself being amazed at the change.
I stayed with my mom for the first five months, which was a blessing. I could eat, drink, be merry, and generally relax. I didn't have to do any household chores, could lie down whenever I wanted and be totally pampered. My parents waited upon me for every small thing. I really did need that rest.
But I missed my husband, Sanjeev in all this. I missed being with him every day and sharing each moment of the wonderful pregnancy period with him. He used to visit me over weekends. It was too much of a trouble for him, I know he has been through a lot. But surely, those weekend moments weren't always enough. About all that a little later.
Looking back at that time, even after six months, I can only say that it's been a miracle! I have said this often to Sanjeev, and I repeat it here. Getting to be a mother is a miracle indeed. And I getting pregnant without any complications is really a miracle! I want to thank Almighty for this! Dear God, thanks!
Physically, there wasn't a lot of change in me. So it was really hard to believe it. Emotionally, it was a roller-coaster ride. First disbelief, then a gradual dawning of the fact, then the sinking in, then joy, followed by slight panic of what it really meant, how it was going to change my life, and then a fear of whether I would be able to be a mom at all, forget about being a good mom, didn't know whether I would be able to take it all in.
Gradually as days passed, the fact that I really was going to be a mom in another 8-9 months was something that started taking root. I reconciled myself to my own feelings and with some introspection, started getting ready for the new phase.
Slowly and surely, physically too, things started changing. My hunger increased, making me wonder all the time. I started feeling hungry even in the middle of the night, early in the morning, every two hours, and at all odd timings. Till now I used to eat to live. But now, I had to live to eat. It was a drastic change and I found myself being amazed at the change.
I stayed with my mom for the first five months, which was a blessing. I could eat, drink, be merry, and generally relax. I didn't have to do any household chores, could lie down whenever I wanted and be totally pampered. My parents waited upon me for every small thing. I really did need that rest.
But I missed my husband, Sanjeev in all this. I missed being with him every day and sharing each moment of the wonderful pregnancy period with him. He used to visit me over weekends. It was too much of a trouble for him, I know he has been through a lot. But surely, those weekend moments weren't always enough. About all that a little later.
Looking back at that time, even after six months, I can only say that it's been a miracle! I have said this often to Sanjeev, and I repeat it here. Getting to be a mother is a miracle indeed. And I getting pregnant without any complications is really a miracle! I want to thank Almighty for this! Dear God, thanks!
